


Weaponising Tea

by Jetainia



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, Sexism, marvel fusion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-23
Updated: 2019-03-23
Packaged: 2019-11-28 12:02:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18208055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jetainia/pseuds/Jetainia
Summary: One should never order Helga to get them a cup of tea.





	Weaponising Tea

Helga walked with the calm determination of someone who was bubbling with rage. Behind her sat a smug Senior Field Agent who was expecting her to return with his requested cup of tea. Helga would give him a cup of tea alright, just not in the way he wanted it. She made a beeline for the hot water boiler as soon as she entered the fifth-floor break room and started making a cup of tea for Mister You’re-A-Female-Get-Me-A-Drink.

The agents already there watched her curiously—knowing that she preferred a raspberry and peppermint tea over the black tea she was making. Several of them hid their grins behind mugs as they saw the careful way she controlled her movements; those were the people who had seen this happen before.

With the tea ready, Helga grabbed a biscuit from the nearby jar and started back. Adam (Mister Get-Me-A-Drink-Woman himself) saw her coming and grinned at her. She smiled sweetly back and then proceeded to tip the very full cup of hot tea into his lap.

“Oh dear,” she said, without even remotely trying to sound as though she meant it. “How clumsy of me, I’m only a female so I’m not terribly good at complicated things like delivering tea. I can, however, tell you that your plan won’t work due to the rotation of the guards that don’t allow enough time for a team of five to enter as one. You should split them up.”

Leaving him sputtering curses and frantically patting his pants with a napkin, Helga walked away chewing her biscuit happily. A presence stepped in line with her a few moments later and she glanced across to see Adam’s planning partner.

Salazar grinned at her. “Are you ever going to tell him that you’re the Deputy Director of SHIELD?” he asked.

Helga shrugged and finished her biscuit. “Perhaps. Likely when Director Fury finally sends him to see me after complaining about how a ‘lowly female’ spilled hot tea on him.”

“I love you.”

“I know. Now go do work, R&D Director, or do I have to spill tea in your lap as well?”

Salazar gave her a mock salute followed by a quick peck on the cheek before moving off in the direction of the stairwell. Helga watched him go and sighed, now she wanted a cup of tea herself. With a much more relaxed gait, Helga once more entered the break room and started making a cup tea. For her, this time.


End file.
